Healing the Pain of Pet Loss: Letters in Memoriam

When a person dies, we send condolence cards. We say, "Is there anything I can do to help?" We try to show our compassion: "I'm so sorry. He was such a wonderful person." When a pet dies, however, a person’s grief is too often met by comments such as "Don't flip out, he was only a dog," or "You can always get another cat." 

 Devastated by the loss of her cat and disturbed by the dismissive attitude that many people seemed to take toward her grief, Kymberly Smith decided to find out what other people had experienced when they lost a pet. Toward this end, she placed notices in two animal magazines (Dog Fancy and I Love Cats) asking readers to share their own stories of loss, their reactions to grief and how they did or did not cope with the emotions they experienced. While she expected to receive quite a few responses, she never anticipated the more than 400 letters she received over the next few months. 

 Healing the Pain of Pet Loss: Letters in Memoriam is a collection of 38 of these inspiring and often heart-wrenching letters. Representing a wide variety of grief experiences, this one-of-a-kind book takes an intimate look at the way we react to the loss of our animal friends and how others can help or hurt the healing process that follows such a loss. While there is no magic cure for getting over a loss or even adjusting to it, one surprisingly simple method that has helped many people is talking and listening to others who have experienced a similar incident, the people-helping-people dynamic known as self-help. In this sense, Healing the Pain of Pet Loss is a self-help group in a book and while, of course, there is not the verbal sharing that occurs when people are physically together, this book inspires a similar kind of interaction between the book reader and the letter writers. By reading another person’s story of loss, readers will be able to discover how others felt and reacted, as well as how others solved their problems and coped or didn't. With the companionship of the letter writers, readers will also feel that they are not alone in their grief experiences and that they are not abnormal or simply overreacting, something that many of the letters’ authors reported feeling. 

 Because issues of death and dying invariably raise questions about our purpose on earth and what occurs after life has ended, a special section has been included that discusses how different religions view animals’ place in the world and in the afterlife. There is also an extremely helpful annotated listing of the best Internet resources dedicated to helping people who are grieving over the loss of an animal friend as well as an annotated bibliography of helpful books, a listing of telephone hotline numbers and places to contact for advice and assistance. 

This special book is a very comforting resource for everyone who has loved and lost an animal companion. It is also an important resource for people who frequently interact with people who have experienced the loss of a pet such as veterinarians, teachers, psychologists, social workers and counselors. P

Paperback self-help book from Charles Press Publishing was released January 1, 1997. 190 pages. It is available to backorder.